Kim's Blog Spot

  I don't know who I am.  When I look in a mirror all I  can see is confusing.  All these lines on my face are getting clearer to me I am not the same person  I used to be. This should be  a good thing, but the image that  is looking back at me is  confusion, as the questions  come to me, "I'm getting older"  "is this who I really am, just an image?" "Who am I?" "Why do I matter?"  "Do I really know who this person who is staring back at me?"  But the only answer I can find is  No! I don't know who I am. I just know I'm not the same  person that I used to be, I'm  lost, hurt, and confused all  in one, but I'm also kind,  I'm real, I'm too plain to be  ordinary, and too real to be  perfect.  So as I turn away from this mirror  I walk out to another room with  these words in my head, "I'm cleverly chosen."  Or I could say "I'm unique"  So is this who I really am. Yes! I'...

  Why Do I Study The Bible Does anything I do or study make  me any closer to Jesus or God? What has drawn me closer to study God's word? Why do feel the need to study? I don't know the answer  to any of these questions, why?  Because I can't explain the feeling, but after I do study it makes me  feeling better, makes me at ease. So why is it when I look at my  Bible I get frustrated and saddened? I think because I get these feelings  of I don't understand what I am  reading, but yet I keep on  reading it. Why? I just don't  understand it. Maybe it's just a  feeling of "What am I accomplishing  today?" I don't know. I guess it helps me to stay in touch  with God, learning and developing  a relationship with God and his son. Oh but yet, I still don't understand  what I am reading at times! It does  make me feel closer to God and  his precious Son.  Life is hard, down right confusing  but I can'...

  When I First Came To Christ When I started to go to church I was  really young, Not really sure how  young I was. I had no idea why my parents  wanted me to go, It was what they told me I had to go. It was a part of growing up, and part of living a good life.  When My father and grandma passed away  I pulled away from the church and didn't  want to go.  My Mom didn't make me, cause  she knew I was grieving.  When I started growing up a bit more I  started going back on my own. To be  truthful I was unsure, maybe a little  uncomfortable, I fumbled for words. I was lost, confused and hurt too. I didn't know what to say or how to start. I didn't want my words to come out  funny. So I really didn't speak much I didn't want to sound stupid. I went into church doors and sat in the  back of the church pew and listened  to every word that the preacher said, when the service was over I just  sat there for a fe...

  "Am I Forgiven?"  I often wonder when I can't make it  to church if I am forgiven? Is this counted as not being obedient? I want to go to church and feel wanted. It's with worship and being with Jesus, the wanting part I feel.  I feel I need to be there to praise the  good Lord. I feel like I can't do that from home. When I am not there I feel like I have committed a sin.  Why do I feel this way?  Well, God calls me to worship him, and when I am not there it feels like  I am sinning. I hope God will  forgive me when I am unable to go. I also feel a part of me is missing when  I am unable to go and attend.  I sure hope I am forgiven for feeling  guilty as well.  I want to be there so bad, but I also  dislike the feeling I get too. I feel down on myself.  I sure hope I am forgiven when I  can't make it to church.